


Have a cup of cheer!

by Masterweaver



Category: Zombieland Saga (Anime)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-21
Updated: 2018-12-24
Packaged: 2019-09-19 11:23:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17000664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Masterweaver/pseuds/Masterweaver
Summary: It's Christmas-time! A time for fellowship, gifts, and singing!Lots.And lots.Of singing.And hey, it's not like zombies need to rest THAT often!





	1. It's the Most Wonderful Time Of The Year

“So... I have noticed something mentioned often fairly recently. If I may ask... what is this christmas thing?”

"What’s Christmas?!” Lily shrieked, a mixture of joy and shock covering her face. “Yugirin, it’s only the biggest most fun holiday of the whole year!”

“It is the holiday of a rather influential religion, celebrating the birth of their central figure,” Junko explained. “Even outside those who believe in that faith, it is meant as a gathering of family and friends, to enjoy each other’s presence.”

Ai snorted. “That’s how they sell it, sure, but it’s really a collection of traditions from pre-christian faiths that were snatched up and bundled together by the church to make transitioning to their religion more acceptable before the whole thing was repackaged by various corporations as a period to waste money on fancy decorations and gifts for people you know in order to appear ‘kind and generous’ by only putting out effort one day a year.”

There was an awkward pause.

“...I mean...” Junko shuffled a foot. “I suppose you’re not  _wrong_ , exactly, it’s just...”

Lily put her hips on her hands and gave her an accusatory look. “You were one of those kids who never believed in Santa Claus, weren’t you?”

“Not... never,” Ai allowed. “Just, well, I did research into the origin of--”

Sakura elbowed her hard, glancing at Lily significantly.

“...of... um...” Ai fumbled for a bit. “...reindeer. Yes. Reindeer, only the females keep their antlers in winter, the males shed theirs, and, um, many of Santa’s reindeer had male names, so I kind of thought things didn’t add up.”

“Huh. So... they’re like me?” Lily asked.

"That is... you know what, I never thought of it that way,” Ai conceded with a shrug. “Well done, you’ve cracked the code, I’m a believer now.”

“Yay!”

“Look, the point is Christmas is a major cultural touchstone of the modern world, and is generally celebrated as a warm, bonding holiday,” Sakura explained.

Yugiri nodded slowly. "Ah... I see. It sounds like quite the event."

“Nobody ever remembers Bodhi Day,” Saki grumbled.

Lily stared at her. "What, you don't like Christmas?"

"No I'm fine with christmas," Saki assured her. "It's great fun, and there's always a sale on fried chicken, it just... overwhelms all the other holidays around this time."

"That's the corporations' fault," Ai assured her. "Nobody's saying you can't celebrate Bodhi Day."

"Um..." Sakura rose her hand. "What's Bodhi day?"

"It's a celebration of when the Buddha achieved enlightenment," Saki explained.

Sakura boggled. "Wait, you're a Buddhist?!"

"Yeah, so?"

" _You_ ," Sakura clarified. "You, of all people. Are a Buddhist."

Saki rolled her eyes. "Yeah, yeah, I'm not very enlightened and chanty and all that crap. There are plenty of 'christians' who don't know how to forgive, though, so what the hell."

"What about you, Tae-chan?" Lily turned to the final member of the group. "What do you think of Christmas?"

Tae threw her arms up, waving from side to side. _"~Rrck gr harr grah rrrrs og horrig, rararararaaaaa rara ra ra!~"_

Sakura giggled. "Okay, if she's singing carols, I think she likes it."

Yugiri glanced around. "There are songs associated with this holiday?"

"Oh, lots," Ai said flatly. "There's the religious ones, the general feeling ones, the ones about icons of the season, the rock-and-roll reinterpretations, the ridiculous ones that point out some of the rather strange aspects of the holiday--"

"Are you talking about the reindeer one?"

"What?"

"The one from the American south," Junko clarified. "I heard it once, and I thought it was catchy, but then I asked what the lyrics meant."

Ai considered for a moment. "...Are you talking about 'Grandma Got Ran Over By A Reindeer?'"

Three startled "WHAT?!"s filled the air.

"That's a _song?!"_ Sakura managed.

"That's horrible!" Lily gasped.

Saki held back a snicker. "Yeah, eh, horrible, those wacky americans, am I right?"

"Well apparently it's older than I thought," Ai mused. "I mean, if Junko's heard of it... but yeah, there are songs like that. I was going to go with the 'Mommy Kissing Santa Claus' and 'Hippopotamus for christmas' songs, but... yeah, there are a lot of songs."

"And if this is a big event," Yugiri continued, "that means that there will be large celebrations."

Tae grunted a confirmation.

"With, shall we say, hundreds of people."

"...yes?" Sakura confirmed. "What are you--?"

Junko, Ai, and Lily all sighed simultaneously.

"There are performances," Junko acknowledged, "all kinds of 'christmas specials.'"

"And we are idols," Ai pointed out. "So we might have a busy month ahead of us."

Lily bit her lip. "Maybe Kotaro-san didn't manage to find us a venue? It _is_ Christmas, maybe all the big places are taken by more famous groups and we can just relax together!"

The door slammed open, Kotaro striding in authoritatively. "Ladies! To the meeting room! Have I got news for you!"

* * *

Tae tugged curiously at the garlands strung around the bars of the dimly lit dungeon, sniffing them curiously. Saki, sitting next to her, ignored her entirely and turned to Ai.

"Five hundred yen says Shades comes in with a fake beard."

Ai snorted. "What, not just a Santa hat?"

"Of course he's going to come in with a Santa hat, it's obviously a christmas thing!"

"He could wear fake antlers," Lily pointed out.

"Okay, that's five hundred on antlers, five hundred on the beard."

"Hey!"

"Hmmm..." Sakura rubbed her chin. "Do you think he's going to say 'ho ho ho' or sing something to the tune of Jingle Bells?"

Saki glared at her. "Hey! One or the other, egghead!"

"Eeep! Sorry, uh..."

"...I'll take the jingle bells one," Junko offered.

"Okay, so I guess I'm Santa laughter!"

Saki nodded, giving Ai a grin. "What about you, you want in on this action?"

"Knitted sweater," Ai offered with a shrug.

"Great! What about you, Yugiri?"

Yugiri considered. "...Hmm. From what little I know of christmas, I suppose I could be put down for 'Santa hat.'"

"...You know what? That's fair." 

The door slammed open, and all the girls turned to look at Kotaro. He walked to the front of the room, placed the gift-wrapped Romero on the desk, and adjusted the glittery wrapping ribbon on his chest.

"GOOD MORNING LADIES! HAPPY HOLIDAYS!"

The girls all shared looks of disbelief.

"I said--"

"Yeah, yeah, merry christmas or whatever." Saki crossed her arms. "Let's just get to the point, what's our next gig and what's the gimmick?"

Kotaro quirked an eyebrow. "The Zombie Land Saga project has been very successful. People are coming to see Saga from many places, all around the world. Business is booming, and with business comes businessmen. There's a group of westerners representing some company or other in town--"

"What company?" Sakura asked.

"HOW THE HELL SHOULD I KNOW?!" Kotaro snapped. "IT'S ONE OF THOSE COMPANIES THAT'S WAY TOO BIG TO CARE ABOUT THESE DAYS!"

Sakura leaned back with a quiet 'meep'.

"...anyway, so there's this big company of westerners, and one of them heard of us. So! We're going to do a special christmas performance for them!"

"Yay!" Lily cheered.

"In english," Kotaro added. "They're westerners. All of them speak some japanese, but only half of them are passable and only half of those are fluent. The rest are just basic phrases, slightly mangled honorifics, anime catchphrases, and internet memes."

The girls all looked at each other warily. Even Tae seemed to pause her wreath-nomming for a moment.

"Well..." Lily shrugged. "I am pretty good with english."

"I do not think I am," Yugiri mused.

"Ah, it'll be alright," Saki said dismissively. "We don't need to know what it means to sing it. And if there's a meet-and-greet after, we can just put Shrimpy and anybody else who understands up front and say the rest are too tired or shy or whatever."

"We'll need more time to master the songs themselves," Ai mused, "but it's three weeks to christmas... we are doing this on christmas, right?"

"December 24th," Kotaro confirmed.

"That's christmas _eve_ , though," Sakura pointed out.

"But this works out great!" Lily exclaimed. "Yugirin's never had a real Christmas, we can celebrate here together after the show!"

Junko smiled faintly. "I suppose it might be fun--"

"SHOW FIRST! CELEBRATION AFTER!"

"Alright, Shades, yeesh!" Saki rolled her eyes. "We'll do the song and dance, no reason to get so uppity."

"Excellent!" Kotaro clapped his hands together. "I've already found perfect costumes for you all. They're in the dance studio. Now get going, chop chop!"


	2. Carol Of The Bells

"What the hell is this."

Sakura looked over what Saki was holding up. "It's... an angel costume, right?"

"I can tell it's an angel costume," Saki growled. "The wings and the... circle thing, it's obviously an angel costume. But why is it in my colors?"

"Because you're supposed to match Sakura," Ai replied.

Saki glanced over to Sakura. She held up a pink halo and shrugged awkwardly. "You'd make a very cute angel, Saki-chan."

"Tch." Saki glared at her supposed outfit. "Why am I an angel?"

Ai started counting off her fingers. "Yugiri's wearing the Santa dress because she's the most physically mature of us, Lily's a christmas elf because she's the shortest of us, Tae is a reindeer because... she can run on all fours I guess, and that's the standard Santa entourage covered. Junko and I have icy tradmark colors, so we're snow spirits of some kind, and that leaves you two to be paired, and angels are kind of associated with christmas anyway--"

"I got that, I just want to know why  _I'm_  an angel!" Saki gestured at herself. "Do you really think I'm angel material?!"

"...I think you can be sweet!" Sakura offered.

Saki glared at her. "You wanna die?"

"On occasion, but I'm working through that."

The room fell silent.

"...Wow. You just... you put that out there." Saki shook her head. "Sakura, I--"

"It's fine! It's fine, I..." Sakura coughed. "Well, come on, it's not like I  _can_  die, you know? Zombie."

Lily put down the green-and-yellow striped hat. "Sakura-chan..."

"Hey! I'm working through it!" Sakura insisted, holding up her hands placatingly. "I... if it gets as bad as Arpino again, I'll let you know, alright? You don't need to worry about me!" She smiled broadly. "Come on, it's Christmas, right?"

_"~...Ri rah regah gr gm rorra, rararararaaaaa rara ra ra!~"_

"That's right, Tae-chan! Christmas carols! Yay!" Sakura clapped happily. "Let's just have happy times for now, okay? Sorry for bringing the mood down. But look at our cute costumes!" She put the halo on her head. "What do you think, am I a good angel?"

Saki's eyes lingered on her for a moment. Then, with a grunt, she turned away. "Better than I would be. Let's be honest, I'm more demon than angel."

"That may be true," Junko allowed, "but I don't think there are christmas demons."

Ai cleared her throat. "...Actually--"

"I don't think there are christmas demons that didn't come out of parodies."

_"Actually--"_

Junko frowned at her. "There aren't really christmas demons, are there?"

"Yes. Quite a few, actually--in the older european traditions. Krampus is the most famous, but there are a lot of countries where the Santa equivalent travels with a demon that punishes bad children."

Lily clutched her hat tightly. "What? But Santa's nice!"

Ai took in her expression and bit her lip. "... _Santa_  might be nice, Lily-chan," she said, "but... he's not actually the first person who did what he does, and a lot of the older ones came from harsher times."

"Whiiiich is why Santa is trying to spread his brand around the world!" Sakura added. "He wants to reform the whole business! You know, like..." She looked to the others, desperate for help.

"Like how we are allowed to sing and dance for many now," Yugiri explained, "without some of the restrictions that existed in my time."

"...Ooooooooh." Lily nodded slowly. "Okay... I  _think_  I get it."

Saki chuckled. "Then you're miles ahead of me, Shrimpy. But seriously, christmas demons? They're a thing?"

"Yes, Saki-chan," Ai rolled her eyes. "They're a thing."

"Alright, I'm modifying my costume then."

"But we're supposed to match!" Sakura pointed out. "Like Ai-chan and Junko-chan!"

"Hey, demons are basically fallen angels, right?" Saki snapped her halo, bending the wire. "And I'm not going to be doing too much. Get some paper to make this into horns, swapping the feathery wings out for bat wings... you think a tail is too far?"

Ai sighed. "Go with just the horns and the wings, to be safe. Oh, and make sure they're orange!"

"Signature color, right."

* * *

"~<Oh, se weaser outside is frightful, but se fire is so-->~"

"Yugiri, stop."

Yugiri put down her sheet. "What is the matter, Ai-han?"

"You're using <s> sounds for <th> sounds."

Yugiri looked down at her sheet, then back up at the girl. "I am afraid I do not understand..."

"Okay." Ai looked over her shoulder, tapping the paper. "You see these two letters? When they're paired like that, they usually make a <th> sound. Like this word is <weather>, but you've been saying <weaser>. You see?"

"Oh." Yugiri nodded. "...they sound so similar, though."

Ai considered for a moment. "Think of it this way. The <s> sound, when stretched out, it sort of sounds like an angry snake. <Ssssssss.> But the <th> sound, when stretched out, it sounds like a sleepy snake. <Thhhhhhhhhhh.> Angry snake, sleepy snake. Can you do that?"

"I... yes, I do believe I can."

"Alright, so from the top."

"Alright. ~<Oh, the weather outside is frightful, but the fire is so derightful. And since we've no prace to go, ret it snow, ret it-->~ "

Ai pinched the bridge of her nose with a deep sigh.

"I  _am_  trying," Yugiri pointed out, just a hint of annoyance in her tone.

"I know, I know, I'm not mad, just..." She waved over to the others, already coordinating a dance routine, with two very notable absences. "I know it's not fair to compare you to the others, who've lived with a decent english presence their whole lives, I just feel like the longer we spend trying to get this part down the less time we have to concentrate on working together."

"...Well, at the least I think I have a better handle on this than Tae-chan."

A brief, wry grin passed over Ai's face. Then she sighed. "You're the one in the Santa dress though. And Santa is basically the central icon for christmas--well, outside the religious core. You're going to be heading this act, even when you're not the front singer."

Yugiri blinked. "Ah... I, ah, had not realized that."

"Hey, at least we're not going to be doing any actual religious songs." Ai shook her head. "That would be a  _real_  mess."

Junko cleared her throat. "Excuse us, Ai-san, but... there is a question we have about the choreography..."

Ai looked from her to Yugiri, her expression unsure.

"...How about I help Yugirin?" Lily piped up. "I'm great with english!"

"Well you  _are_  one of Santa's elves," she allowed with a small grin. "Alright, Lily-chan, you take over here."

Lily beamed as she hopped over. "How about we sing together, and you can try to match as close to me as you can?"

"That sounds like a good idea," Yugiri agreed, sitting down next to her.

Ai nodded in satisfaction, joining the others. "What seems to be the problem?"

"Well..." Junko nodded to Saki. "Slow tempo, to show her?"

"Right, from the fourth step."

They took up positions, going through the motions. "During Lily's song, there's this bit during the chorus where you and I spiral out from the sled, and when we hit the outside point, there's a lot of blank space between us and center stage."

"So I was thinking, if Sakura and I gripped the edge of the sled and held out our legs like this--"

"It would fill the space," Ai realized, nodding. "But could you do that in your costumes? They do constrain a lot of your leg movement."

"That's what I said," Junko agreed. "The rest of us have short skirts, though, so I was thinking maybe if we swapped dance positions and did the kick ourselves--"

"But Sakura is the pink one, and I'm the orange one," Saki pointed out, going back to a standing position. "We match the sled color. Maybe if we adjust the skirts on the damned angel dresses--"

"I think your angel dress is the only one that's damned," Sakura deadpanned.

"And I think you're too eager to wear yours," Saki sniped back with a grin. "None of the rest of us changed for practice!"

"Hmm." Ai walked over to Sakura, grabbing her skirt and lifting it to an angle. "Sakura, could you stick out your leg?"

"Eh?!"

"I want to see how this dress moves."

"Oh. Right." Sakura balanced on one leg, carefully lifting the other. "Is this good?"

"That'll do for now." Ai walked around her carefully. "Hmmm. Saki, who'd you get to adjust your outfit's wings?"

"Oh, that was Disco," Saki said, jerking a thumb at Junko. "She's surprisingly good with arts and crafts."

Ai rubbed the dress fabric around Saki's ankle, apparently not noticing the girl's blush. "Junko, come over here, I need a second opinion."

Junko joined her, looking at Sakura's leg carefully. "See, the dress isn't stretching out enough to--"

"It isn't now. But if we cut up the center so it could, do you think it would rest on the leg like this? Or would it slip forward and off?"

"Hmm." Junko put her hand to the dress, thoughtfully running a hand up Sakura's leg (and remaining entirely oblivious to her shocked squeak). "I can see what you're getting at, but... can I see the hem of the dress, please?"

Ai moved aside, letting her pinch at Sakura's ankle carefully. Sakura whined quietly, looking for help; when she turned to Saki, leaning against he still cracked mirror, all she got was an amused smirk.

"I think... if I sewed in cloth rings that would go around her socks, we could make it look like it was staying in place--"

"--without having to worry about perfectly balancing the fabric on her legs," Ai finished, nodding. "Okay, so should we cut up the front or the back of the dress?"

"Hmm." Junko bent down, peering between Sakura's calves. "I would say both, but higher in the back--up to the knee at the highest, though."

Sakura let out a breath, starting to lower her leg--and meeped when she felt something keeping it up. She looked down and found Tae sniffing curiously at her foot.

"Right, we want it to look as much like one big dress as we can," Ai agreed. "How long would it take you?"

"To adjust the dresses? Well, I'd need to see if I could find the materials, but after that it would only take an hour--"

Sakura's struggles to pull her foot free from Tae's grip ended when she toppled over with a shriek. Tae looked at the limb in her hand curiously for a moment.

"...Ranra! Gockaa Ranra!"

She rushed out of the room.

"What--" Junko blinked. "What just happened?"

"Tae ran out with Sakura's leg," Ai said flatly.

"Why'd she do that?"

Sakura sat up with a groan. "Didn't you hear her? 'Gockaa Ranra.' 'Stocking Santa'. She's probably going to try to hang my leg up over the fireplace."

Saki burst out laughing, pounding the wall. "Oh that's--oh that's great. Come on, ha, come on, we'd better, haha, better go find her..."


	3. Here We Come A-Caroling

Tae ran circles backstage, biting at the straps dangling off her harness in a futile attempt to catch the golden bells dangling off them. Lily was watching her with a small grin. "I guess that's why they're called jingle bells."

"I hope she gets this out of her system before the show," Junko mused. "Westerners are more likely to comment on strange things... at least, in my experience. If she actually ate a bell, it might end badly."

Saki shrugged. "Yeah, fair enough. Tae-chan!"

Tae looked up from her chase. "Graaghra?"

"Those are your christmas clothes! You don't want to ruin them before the performance, right?"

The girl stood up tall, waving her hands. _"~Daag gr ra rr gay apparaga, rararaaa rararaaa ra ra ra!~"_

"Yeah that's--" Saki blinked. "Wait, did she just say gay?"

Lily rolled her eyes. "Yeah, the english word <gay> used to mean just 'happy' before it meant homosexual, so you'll find it in a lot of older songs."

"...Huh." Saki rubbed her chin. "I did not know that."

Sakura shrugged, reaching out to adjust Tae's antlers. "Well, we are japanese. It's not like that would be taught in schools or anything."

"English lessons aside, it might be best if we did a final checklist runthrough." Ai adjusted the snow-flake hair decorations she was wearing. "Does anybody have any last minute issues with their costumes?"

Yugiri cleared her throat. "I do have a question about my stockings... The fur on their border is, well, rather close to a sensitive part of my leg."

"I thought you said you could handle that."

"I can, but as Junko has just indicated, westerners are likely to comment on strange things."

Saki snorted. "Yeah, no, trust me: any comments about your stockings are going to be the kind of thing Shrimpy doesn't want to hear."

Lily gave her a flat look. "You're not wrong, but I'm not stupid."

"Are my feathers neat?" Sakura twisted her head around. "Oh no! They're not, they're all crooked!"

"They were fine before you ran your long hair over them!" Ai said firmly. "Put your head back on straight!"

"Oh, r-right!" Sakura flipped her head around. "Sorry, sorry--"

"I'll fix them up, just hold still."

"Um..." Junko adjusted the silver wreath round her head. "This feels a little loose, actually."

"Well, like you like to say, we _are_ zombies." Saki smirked. "Maybe we could just nail it to your head?"

Junko glowered. "I like to present myself as perfect, but speaking as somebody who has actually gone through a jet turbine: Hell. No."

"Speaking as somebody who has had a poker through her skull," Ai added, "I second her hell no, and would like to add a..." She paused, glancing at Lily. "...well, you can probably guess."

"I said I was sorry," Sakura grumbled.

Saki held up her hands. "Right, sorry. Went with the first idea that came to me, didn't think about how it would sound, totally deserved that. So... what if we tape it to your head, instead? Or, I dunno, wrap your braids around it in the back?"

"Good plan," Ai agreed. "Yugiri, could you help her with that?"

Yugiri nodded, walking over to Junko and delicately weaving her hair around the glittering laurels. Ai finished with Sakura's wings, brushing her hands off.

Sakura smiled. "Thank you!"

"Not a problem. Okay, do we have the backup sleigh in case the one on the stage falls apart?"

"Graa!" Tae confirmed, gesturing at the red and gold object next to her.

"And we put fire extinguishers under the christmas trees?"

"Yep!" Lily said. "Oh, I noticed none of the presents were white, so I wrapped big white bows around them so we can find them easily if we need to!"

"And we all know the emergency generic songs in case we need to improvise something if everything goes off the rails?"

The girls all nodded affirmatively.

"Tae's had her pre-show squid?"

"Oh!" Sakura snapped her fingers. "Knew I was forgetting something!" She rushed over to the table, opening a box. "Tae-chan! Here you go!"

"Raaaaaaa!" Tae jumped at her, eagerly grabbing the dried cephalopod and chomping down on it.

"Man... she loves that squid." Saki shook her head. "Remember that time we accidentally fed her octopus before a show?"

Yugiri stared into the distance. "...Yes. Yes, I do remember..."

"Hey." Junko held her wrist. "It won't happen again."

"Yes. I am sorry, I suppose..." Yugiri shook herself. "As you were saying, Ai-han?"

"Right. Costume adjustments, backup plans, Tae's squid... Kotaro is looking over the lighting and the tech... Oh! That's right!" She turned to Yugiri. "If we need to improvise, Kotaro's going to feed you lines in english through your mike. Stage directions in japanese, lines in english. You got that?"

Yugiri nodded. "And Lily will match up with her excellent english skills. I remember."

"Just checking to make sure." Ai inhaled deeply. "Alright... I think we're ready to handle whatever fate throws at us. This time, anyway. Show starts in ten minutes."

Sakura grinned. "Let's spread some Christmas cheer, zombie style!"

* * *

The show had been pretty good so far. Tae had dragged the rest of them on stage singing about a sleigh ride, Yugiri had managed her song with just the right level of flirtatiousness and almost no audible slips, and Sakura's impassioned rendition of a song about chestnuts and eskimos had garnered quite a bit of applause.

And then Ai's duet with Tae came up.

Admittedly, they never expected it to be the best performance. Tae was very good at following rhythms, but her actual singing skill was... well, it technically existed. She could modulate her voice. And to be fair, Ai had only chosen this on the grounds that westerners liked to have a sense of humor. It was going about as she'd hoped, the muffled chuckles from the crowd exactly what she was aiming for.

"~<I really can't staaaaaaay-->~"

"~Gra braga rr kra raaraai...~"

"~<I've got to go waaaaaay-->~"

"~Gra braga rr kra raaraai...~"

"~<This evening has been-->~" "~Ra granra raa yrr dar na--~" "~<So ver-ry niiiiiiiice...>~" "~Rarg rarr yrr rrn, rar aars rk rse...~"

"<She's really dedicated to that reindeer persona,>" one of the businessmen whispered to another.

And then, as Sakura twirled through her supporting choreography, her foot bumped into one of the stacks of wrapped gifts. 

"~<My mother will start to worry-->~" "~Grabafa ra yrr hara?~" "~<My father will be pacing the floor-->~" "~Rrsaa rr ra fararaas raaa...~"

The topmost package toppled, knocking an ornament or two off the tree as Sakura danced on obliviously.

"~<So really I'd better scurry-->~" "~Grabafa ra drr hrra--~" "~<But maybe just a half a drink more...>~" "~Rr srr rakra n rrr a paar...~"

One of the ornaments hooked onto a hidden fire extinguisher, the weight squeezing at its handle. Ai's eyes darted toward the sound of hissing, and she gave a significant glance to Kotaro, just off stage.

The man put a hand to his ears. "Yugiri, Junko, cross across the sleigh. Lily, you move behind Yugiri and check under the stage right tree, there might be an issue."

"~<The neighbors might think-->~" "~Braga rr bra raa raar.~" "~<Say what's in this drink?>~" "~Na kraa rr ra draa raa raar!~"

Yugiri professionally covered Lily's quick jaunt, and the girl dived under the tree with the audience none the wiser. "Oh no--an ornament snagged on one of the fire extinguishers!"

"~<I wish I knew how-->~" "~Yrr raas rr raak rarraa naar.~" "~<\--to break this spell...>~" "Rarg rar yrr hra, yrr haar rrk sraaa...!~"

"Can you get it off?" Saki hissed through her cocky smirk, leaning in knowingly toward the singers on cue.

"It's on tight--Mmph!" Lily shook her head as white foam sprayed her face, quickly slamming her hand on the cylinder. "It's punctured! There's foam coming out, I can't hold it forever!"

Sakura's eyes flickered toward the crowd, her grin twitching. "What do we do, what do we do?!" she whispered to Junko.

"~<I ought to say, no, no, no sir-->~" "~Rrm rr ra mmraf nr krara...?~"

"Foam looks like fake snow," Junko murmured. "But if it's only one tree--Yugiri, we're going to do another cross, but this time stay in the sleigh."

"~<At least I'm gonna say that I tried.>~" "~Raas ra sraa rr hraga ra raaig?~"

Junko fell to the sleigh's floor, crawling to the other side. "Saki, cover me, I need to get to the other tree!"

Saki nodded. "Sakura, spiral in now!"

"~<I really can't stay-->~" "~Rr braga raa hraa raa--~" "~<But baby it's cooold oooutsiiide!>~"

Junko managed to slip behind a tree and crawl under it unnoticed. "Okay Lily," she whispered as she grabbed an extinguisher, "we're going to make it snow. Stage rear, point up, left and right strokes, I'll match you."

"Got it, starting on Ai's next lyric!"

A pair of foggy white streams began to render the rear of the stage misty and cool. Yugiri rose her hands, miming a mystical motion as the stage seemingly fell to winter's grasp.

"~<I've gotta get home-->~" "~Gra braga yrr fraa ra raar!~" "~<Say lend me a coat!>~" "~Ra rr ra yrr nraa ra raar!~"

"It's jerking around like crazy!" Lily whispered desperately. "I don't think I can hold on to it!"

"~<You've really been grand-->~" "~Ra raa nraa yrr taach mra haa.~" "~<\--but don't you see?>~" "Raa kaa yrr da frs raa ra mra...?~"

"The song's almost done," Sakura reassured her. "Just a little longer!"

"~<There's bound to be talk tomorrow...>~" "~Rrnk ra mra rafraa sraaraaa--~"

"It's slipping!" Lily squeaked

"~<At least there will be plenty implied-->~" "~--ra yrr ga naraamraa rr draa!>~"

"Point it at the sleigh!" Saki said quickly. "Big finish!"

"~<I really can't stay!>~" "~Ragg aaraa ra dra raa!~"

The canister spiraled out from the gifts, smashing through the sleigh and ending in the branches of the other tree.

"~<Baby, it's cold,>~" "~Gra braga rr kraaaaaaa raaaaaaaaaaaaaraaaaaaaaaaaai!~"

The music ended, leaving everyone, performers and audience alike, to look at the sleigh in disbelief. For a moment, there was complete silence.

"<....Oh no!>" Lily hopped out from behind the tree, shock plain on her face. "<Somebody opened a bottle of Christmas magic early!>"

"<It wasn't me!>" Saki rejoined quickly. "<You all saw, right? I was over here! It has to be her!>" She pointed at Sakura, earning a clearly offended expression and a few laughs from the audience.

"Okay, good angle," Kotaro said into his mike. "Yugiri, I'm going to feed you a line while Lily does her thing."

"<Now Santa's sleigh is ruined!>" Lily bemoaned. "<What are we going to dooooo??>"

"<I know a place nearby where an old elf craftsman rives,>" Yugiri assured her. "<Maybe we can get the sleigh over there for a quick fix.>"

"<Oh! That's a great idea!>" Lily hooked Tae back into the harness, hopping into the sleigh with Yugiri. "<We'll be right back!>"

Tae glanced around in confusion, until Kotaro produced a dried squid and waved it meaningfully. With a happy roar, she reared up and charged off stage, dragging the broken sleigh off the stage.

Ai nodded, putting her hands on her hips. "<Well, there they go.>"

"<Yes, they are going,>" Sakura agreed.

"<In a sleigh, with bells,>" Ai pointed out. "<Bells that jingle.>"

Sakura blinked, turning to her. "<Bells that...?> Oh! <Oh, yes, right!>"

Backstage, Yugiri and Lily were hooking up Tae to the other sleigh while Kotaro started the new track. "And they're going with Jingle Bells," Lily muttered. "Of course."

"Is there something wrong with that song?"

"It's just so generic, Yugirin. It's a fun song, the first few times, but when you hear it blasted at you every day in every mall for a month..." Lily shrugged. "I don't hate it, I just... feel annoyed by it."

"Ah, well. Do not worry. This act will be done soon enough."


	4. Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas

"<I loved your performance!>"

Ai smiled, shaking the man's hand. "<Thank you!>"

"You are very good at song."

Saki grinned. "Yeah, I know it. Thanks for having us!"

"<So... 'bottle of Christmas magic,' huh?>"

Lily giggled. "<Don't worry, we elfs have a handle on it. Thank you for coming!>"

The three of them waved as the western businessmen walked back into the crowd, listening half-heartedly to the idle chatter. Saki leaned in toward Ai. "So, you think we're going international now?"

"No. This was a one-time thing."

"Oh, good. I mean I can pass at english, but I wouldn't want to be the only one up here."

"Here comes another one," Lily said, nudging them quickly.

A woman stepped up to the group, glancing around conspiratorially. "<I know you probably haven't eaten since this morning, so here.>" She put down a large plate of snacks, cookies, and a few slices of meat and vegetables. "<This is what I could get from the buffet. The others are alright, right?>"

"<Oh, yes!>" Lily nodded quickly. "<They're just working on their Christmas jobs. Making it snow, checking lists twice, our poor reindeer had to take a nap after all that sleigh-pulling but the good little angel is brushing her coat.>"

"<Still in character, huh?>" The woman nodded. "<Professional. Keep working hard--oh, and hide that plate under the table, just in case!>"

Ai nodded, swiftly moving the plate beneath the tablecloth. "<Thank you, miss. Have a merry christmas!>"

"<And you have a happy... uh... Bodhi day, right?>"

Saki beamed. "<Yeah, that's right. We will.>"

They waved her off happily, nodding as she joined in conversation with another group.

Lily smirked up at Saki. "Nobody ever remembers, huh?"

"Okay, okay, sometimes people do." The blonde shrugged. "I guess these Americans aren't all bad."

"No, not all of them," Ai agreed. "Just the ones who think they're automatically great thanks to being american." She nodded toward one. "Case in point..."

"Huh? How can you tell?"

"It's the hair," Lily sighed. "It's... sculpted. Kotaro's hair looks well groomed, but this... looks just shaped."

Ai blinked. "Oh, he's coming this way. Just smile, no matter what he says."

This businessman swaggered up to them and gave an amused grin. "<My word, such talented young girls to be going up so high in the world.>"

Ai smiled, folding her hands together. "<We're just happy to spread cheer.>"

"<Of course.>" The man gave Saki a wry smirk. "<Nothing for Christmas, huh? Such a shame, such a shame.>"

Saki kept her cocksure grin on her face. "<Well, I've got the stuff I need already.>"

"<Ah, certainly. And you, young lady.>" He favored Lily with a warm grin. "Bohemian waffle goose oranges scatter."

The little girl's smile didn't so much as flicker. "<I'm trying to keep speaking english to impress my teacher. It's an extra credit assignment. Thank you though!>"

The man nodded. "<You're quite welcome.>" He nodded in satisfaction and walked away.

"Bohemian waffle goose oranges scatter?" Saki turned to the other two. "The hell was up with that guy?"

"More ego than sense," Ai replied. "You get people like that whenever an organization gets big enough. He probably thinks he said something really uplifting and wise."

"Yeah, some people pretend to know more than they do, because they can't believe they would ever be at fault." Lily nodded toward one particular part of the crowd. "Speaking of, here comes our manager."

Kotaro approached the table with a crafty smirk. "And how are things with you?"

"Usual well-wishers, a few edge cases both good and bad." Ai nodded. "We made a good impression. Wouldn't be enough to leverage now, but give us a bit to become more famous and we'll have a couple people willing to offer us shows as a fond memory."

The man crossed his arms. "I didn't ask your advice."

"...yes you did," Ai pointed out. "You asked how things were going on out here--"

"I can read a room. I know how to get us performances. I asked how things were going with you."

Ai opened her mouth, paused, and glaned away. "We're... fine. It was a good show."

"It was kinda bland," Saki pointed out. "None of the songs were Franchouchou standard--just christmas stuff. If we have to do this again, I want songs written for us in it."

"Song-writing isn't easy," Kotaro pointed out. "I'm already making a new song for every performance you have. You want new christmas songs, you'll have to do it yourself."

Lily shrugged. "Well, it'll be a year before we have another Christmas show, if we ever do. I know I had a lot of fun!"

"Yeah, it was pretty cool," Saki agreed. "Just not up to our usual standards. Little too relaxed."

"I mean... this is the holiday for curling up in a chair with hot chocolate. Most of the songs aren't meant to be danced to, exactly."

Saki threw up her hands. "All I'm saying is I don't like christmas songs!"

"You hate christmas songs?"

"No, I just... they're bland and samey and I want something with more meat, is all."

Ai rolled her eyes. "Like Lily said, we have a year before we even consider doing something like this again."

"Good. I mean... aside from the songs, this was pretty good."

Kotaro nodded. "Excellent. Keep our hosts entertained a bit longer, I'll try to see about getting us home. And remember--tomorrow is the party."

* * *

"IT'S CHRISTMAS IT'S CHRISTMAS IT'S CHRISTMAS--!"

Ai sipped her hot chocolate with a roll of her eyes. "Yes, Lily, it is christmas, gifts under the tree, stockings on the fireplace, good friends, sweets, and apparently the obligatory over-hyper child bouncing around the room."

Lily frowned at her. "It's me or Tae-chan."

Tae popped her head out of a pile of shredded wrapping paper. "Raarg?"

"We're just talking about christmas nonsense," Ai assured her. "You can go back to playing with the scraps."

"Graa." Tae dove into the paper again, happily chomping through as she looked for the occasional bow.

Sakura cleared her throat. "Ai-chan... why don't you like Christmas?"

"What?" Ai blinked. "Whoever said I didn't like christmas?"

"Well, um... you kind of talked about how it was all a trick the church made up and just now, with Lily--"

"You're saying I'm cynical and critical, right?"

"Um..." Sakura considered. "I... guess?"

"I'm cynical and critical about being an idol," Ai pointed out. "It doesn't mean I don't enjoy it, just that I'm willing to acknowledge the flaws. I am... actually pretty happy to be part of this." She sipped her drink again. "Even if it is pretty nonsensical."

"Ah." Lily nodded in understanding. "You're a natural grinch."

"...a... what?"

"...The Grinch? Green furry man? Doctor Seuss's 'How The Grinch Stole Christmas?'"

Ai stared at Lily. "...I... don't know what you're talking about."

Lily shook her head. "Whatever. I guess you're heart's not  _two_  sizes too small."

"Hey, at least it isn't three sizes too big!"

Lily giggled. "Okay, fair point. Oh! Yugirin!" She latched onto the woman striding into the room. "It's Christmas! Your first Christmas, this is going to be so much fun!"

"Of that I am most certain." Yugiri ran a gentle hand through the girl's hair. "With you guiding me through the traditions, how could it not be?"

Sakura and Ai watched them, identical fond smiles on their faces.

The moment was broken when Tae rose out of her basket of scraps, hands bound in ribbons. "Raakaara?"

"Huh?" Sakura looked over and gasped. "Oh Tae-chan! You're all tangled up! Let me help you out..." She rushed over, tugging at the glittering strands.

Lily released Yugiri, looking around the room. "Hey, where are Junko-chan and Saki-chan? We can't start without them!"

Ai glanced at the clock. "Hmmm.... Well, they should be just about done, so I think they'll be here any moment."

"...Done?" Lily looked at her. "Done with what?"

On cue the door to the room was kicked open, Saki and Junko striding in and balancing large trays. Saki held buckets of fried chicken on her left arm, and a platter of cookies and pastries on her right; Junko was carefully balancing a plate of many snacks atop one hand and a tea set surrounded by small glittering packages on the other.

"We've got eats and weird english gifts!" Saki declared, sweeping her trays onto the table. "Can't be a real christmas without chicken, right Tae?"

"Kaa-ra-rooro-raaaaa!"

"Oh my gosh!" Lily sped over, helping Junko set down her own trays. "Where did you get these cookies?"

"Made 'em myself, Shrimpy."

"Eh?!" Sakura looked up from her attempt to free Tae. "You can  _bake?!"_

"Yep. I was one brazen badass butch blonde buddhist baker biker babe back in the day..." Saki rolled her shoulders. "Taught Reiko how to make the best cookies. Good times..."

Ai smiled wryly. "These two basically took over the kitchen this morning. I was only just able to get this cup of cocoa before they kicked me out."

"Do not meddle in the affairs of chefs," Yugiri intoned gravely. "They are the masters of your sustenance, and offending them would be a dire mistake."

Saki clicked a finger at her. "Eeeeey, this girl gets it!"

"What are these things?" Lily asked, pointing at the small packages around the tea set.

"They're christmas crackers," Junko explained. "It's a british tradtion. You take one end, somebody else takes the other, and you pull it apart. And whoever has the larger half, they keep what's inside."

"I thought it was 'you keep whatever's in your half,'" Ai said.

Junko shrugged. "It varies."

"Well..." Sakura pulled the final ribbon from Tae's body. "I think we're ready to start. What do you say, Tae-chan? Should we get this Christmas started?"

_"~Raaa ra ro ra grura raroh, rararararaaaaaa ra ra ra raaaaa!~"_

"That's a yes!" Lily declared. "I think we should start with the stockings!"


End file.
